So, we (women) fall in love with ourselves...and men fall in love with us? Hmmm...If this is true, it explains a lot. No wonder this relationship thing hasn't worked for me! You know, I really believe that no woman wants to ADMIT that she's looking to a man to fulfill her...but I think most of us are. We know this is backwards; we know it's pollitically incorrect; we say we would NEVER do this... but deep inside, we believe that it works! We think that if we just keep our tenticles out, grab on, and then hold tight enough, eventually he will REALIZE how wonderful we are... and stop struggling!
Why do we do this??!!
I know that's twisted even as I write it... but somehow my mind is locked in that pattern of "struggle." Struggle...MAKE him want you; MAKE him fall in love with you; EXPLAIN to him why you two should be together... yeah, that's it; he just needs a talking to. I know that men don't want momma's, but I believe that most women NEED fathers. Oh dear...now I'm in trouble...but I think it's true. When we're little (both boys and girls), we want to please our daddies and make them proud of us. With our father's, were supposed to reach out, and know that he will catch us. we're supposed to COMMAND attention from him... and we get it! When this happens, it sends tigles through our whole body and makes us feel secure...like we're the most lucky girl in the world. We know that our daddy is the best person in the world and we feel like a princess. This confidence is supposed to help us stand on our own two feet and respect ourselves...and eventually we're fulfilled by our father's love (the best of that love) and don't need to command his attention anymore.
But what about those of us who don't have that experience? Maybe we never knew our dad's at all, or we knew (or have known) them in abusive ways? We're born commanding attention from our dads (which we want desperately); but what happens when we keep commanding and never receive? Do we command MORE? (whether we realize it or not)? If we're left empty, what do we stand on?
The hope that he will realize how wonderful we are.
We can't help it...it's just there. We must have his admiration and apporoval. We'll take the CRUMBS...we must have it...even if it's just a little. We have to prove to daddy that we're a gem!! For most of us girls, this need goes unmet, I think. We keep giving and giving in the hope that our daddy will recognize how wonderful we really are. Then, we become adults and we do the same thing we've always done... We hope and pray and hope and pray, with stars in our eyes. Maybe he'll like me. Maybe he'll love me forever... and if he doesn't, I can SHOW him how wonderful I am!
So we bend over backwards doing everything perfectly, just like we tried to do for dad...believing that somehow it will "pay off." Listen ladies, we need to stop commanding more from men, and start DEMANDING more of ourselves. So how do we do this? How do we heal the hole left by daddy and love ourselves so that we can have confidence and stand on our own two feet? The ironic thing is that this "Daddy" principle applies to God too. He LOVES to be sought. He want's to be sought. He loves it when we COMMAND attention from him. But, commanding attention from a man we wanna be in love with...won't woork. He doesn't like that. He's turned off by it. He pulls away. He feels like he hasn't ben qble to "win" her because she "gave" herself over to him too easily. Right? Goodness sakes...What's a girl to do? Listening to Rori Raye has helped a lot for me... but more on that later. :)
