Very Real Pain

I've heard and seen a lot of speculation lately about whether the Newtown Connecticut shootings were staged (quote, unquote). I admit, I myself have wondered this. But regardless.... I think it's so important to remember that people have died here... both children and adults. There are families who've been tragically changed forever by these horrible events. I have read all sorts of things about memorial pages supposedly set up before victims had died, police and paramedics being told they were participating in a drill, parents being actors who were staging grief for cameras, the coroner being given false information, or even making it up as he went along, and also that the parents of these dear children were never allowed to see their bodies.

As I said, I also have wondered whether the whole thing was staged. But now I realize that this is BECAUSE all these stories and FB posts and tweets are out there! I followed that with an exclamation point because I've become pretty incensed with all the speculation out there. People are scared, and people are hurting, and people are angry... and that's okay. I don't think we would be human if we were not upset in the face of such shocking, sad events.

But now imagine you're a parent or a family member of someone who lost a child, their mother, their daughter. You're whole world has been torn apart because you're missing your loved one, You've just had the saddest Christmas of your entire life, and each one from here on out will be overshadowed by that same grief, you've had to go through the agony of the funeral, you're left with all your memories, and most likely, people are contacting you all the time so they can fly you somewhere so you can talk about exactly what happened and how it made you feel (!!!). Now add to all that, the pain of knowing that your loved one's violent death is being used as leverage for someone's personal agenda. Every time you turn on your TV or radio, or computer, or mobile device, you risk seeing that "agenda" staring you in the face: Gun Control. EVERYONE putting in their two cents about it, and on and on and on. People debating about whether or not this incident was real... while you know it was VERY real because of the gaping hole left by your absent loved one. Imagine this is your story.

Whatever anyone feels about all the "sub-topics" that have arisen from this heart-breaking event, I believe the ISSUE needs to be mutual respect for the family members left torn apart by these awful deaths. I would challenge people (gently), think before you respond to that FB post, send out that tweet, create that hashtag, or call that radio station comment line. Think before you post that blog entry or YouTube video (please). Think before you respond to someone else's video... who might read that and how will it affect them? Think before you decide to pontificate your personal feelings or take part in that joke (would these family members be offended or hurt by that?). Do you really know that what's being said is REALLY true? Let's have some empathy, respect, and perhaps just some good manners concerning these amazing folks who are in very real pain, and make the decision that we won't carry the pain or noise or debating any further. My deepest sympathies to everyone involved in the Newtown tragedy. My prayers are with you, as are the prayers of many others. Take care.