Fears

What are my fears about marriage?

1. That one of us will say, "cant take any more" and want to leave.
I often get sick of myself, and spend too much time waiting for the bottom to drop out of things. I figure if something bad is going to happen, lets just get it over with.
I will test my husband, there's no doubt about it; trying to see how much he can stand, praying the whole time that he doesn't leave me. But on the other hand, what a dismal existence. How do I honor him and cherish him so that my home is his home too, so that he's safe, and he wants to stay?

2. Father figure: It should't be a husbands job to be a father figure. But what if I need one? If a husband is a leader, is he, in essemce, a father figure too? What if this is humiliating for me as his wife because I can't be my own person? In my "experience" a father figure is someone who belittles you and makes you feel bad about yourself and makes your defenses go up. I know this isn't God's view of things, but that's exactly my point. How do I replace my veiw of a father, with God; so that I am able to let my husband be a husband?