Marriage

I don't understand why everybody (it seems) including Christian ministers seem to hold singleness as some sort of shining, heroic effort, while marriage is discourraged at all costs. In the world, we can expect that marriage would not be held in high regard in the name of independence or choice, or not wanting to appear old fashioned; but, as a Christian single, I find that the same is true in the Evangelical church: Marriage is not held in high regard in the name of independence, choice, and not wanting to appear old fashioned (after all, what if God isn't "directing" this person to get married?). As a result, marriage seems stuck on the back burner and never discussed.



Singleness, is regarded as a beautiful, courrageous, blessed, "you've got it going on" sort of liberating decision, while those who admit they have the desire to be married are told in every way imaginable, that all they can expect is trouble. The church seems to proclaim all of this, while admitting that marriage is honorable, and, the very first God ordained institution, while then returning to the apostle paul's desire that everyone were able to be like him (single and serving the Lord). Then, single men and women are assured that there is no need to feel like a freak, because the Bible says it's okay to be single. YOU DO NOT HAVE TO GET MARRIED.



Wonderful, our God is good! What an awesome choice. However, it seems to me that singles aren't the ones who have anything to worry about...

If I remember correctly Gloria Steinam (Sp?) herself ended up admitting that femminism wasn't really the liberation she'd believed it was. For some of us, singleness is an ache that never seems to go away, and is often accompanied with the guilt associated with lingering doubt. Some singles doubt that they will ever find someone, they doubt that anyone will ever really want them, they doubt that their faith in God is what it should be because they're struggling with loneliness, heartache and many questions they can't seem to get answered. In the church, talk of singleness goes hand in hand with talk purity and staying a virgin (as well it should). Single people are encourraged because God will give them the STRENGTH to live such a life and stay faithful to him. These wonderful individuals (bless them:) are put on perpetual Christian pedestals and exalted while those with the desire to be married pick their hearts up off the floor, sick up their tears and wonder where their place is .



Because the divorce rate for Christians is now the same as it is for non-believers, it's no wonder that most people even within the church, wouldn't be too confident about encouraging marriage. So, with even the Bible stating in 1st Corinth. 7 that singleness is simpler, easier amd leaves one with an "undivided heart," just how does someone who has a desire to be joined in Gods oldest and most sacred cvenant get any support? The only address Paul gives to those of us who want to be married in that passage, is that we may (get married) if we wish, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion; turning our God-given place for a spouse into nothing but a need to remove lust. I KNOW there is more to the story than that... and that's so good because an ending like that would just be too depressing, don't you think?