Men?

It's hard for me to know where to begin with this post.

After I wrote my quote last night, and my entry about modesty ("Moses Supposes Quotes,") I kept thinking about whether I've ever seen the principle of modesty taught to men. The answer of course, is no. I have a definition...but what do we think of when we think modesty? One of the first things I think of, actually, is "immodesty"... In the form of a woman showing too much cleavage, or too much leg, or both. Interesting. Why do we automatically think of the opposite with a gorgeous word like "modesty"? I'm not sure, but maybe it's because of the reasons we need modesty.

How does a person behave when they are NOT modest? Are they too loud? Do they talk too much, too fast? What sorts of things do they say? Do they attack people with their words? Are they offensive? Do they curse? How do they dress? Do their clothes fit properly? Are they too loose or too tight? Too short? (I should say, Are they PURPOSELY too loose or too tight?). What about eating and drinking? Are they temperate and "adult" in these things, or do they eat too fast, talk with their mouth full and then leave a mess everywhere? How many of you are still thinking of women as I'm saying these things? Right? When I ask up there about teaching modesty to MEN... that's not a typo.

By default, we think of women, and the way that they dress when it comes to modesty...and that's fine. But does/can modesty apply to men as well? Now I think I'll go to the definition: 1. A freedom from conceit or vanity. 2. Propriety in dress, speech, or conduct. So, can these definitions apply to men as well? I think the answer is of course! So, my next question then becomes, why don't they? Let me put it another way: why don't we talk about the way these definitions apply to guys? Probably because of what I said above: We think of women in terms of the way that they are dressed when it comes to modesty. Now, I know I've opened the floodgates here, because this is a weird topic, but let's look at it like this: if modesty in a woman means being a lady, perhaps modesty in a man means being a gentleman. Yes? Wow! Men, are you "proper" in your dress and speech and conduct? Do you make an effort to be free from conceit and vanity? Mind you, I'm not asking if you are perfect in these things...because no one is. But for both women and men: what is the heart motivation in your dress, speech or conduct? Would this be fair?

A sad reality seems to be that most women know nothing about modesty themselves. It's simply not taught...it's not even on the radar screen...even though (as mentioned), we stereo-typically think of women when it comes to modesty). Of course, this is not always the case. But go to the mall on any given day, or turn on the TV. Most of the time, the women are wearing the too short dress with too much cleavage, leading the guy around by the hand, telling him he's gotta get it together, or making fun of him when he isn't in the room (or even worse, when he IS in the room!).

It seems that if he shows "modesty" and decides to be a gentleman, and doesn't stand up for himself, then he's generally perceived as weak and clumsy, (and after all, what else can you expect out of him, right?). If he does present his side, stand of for himself, and ask that she (and her friends) not treat him that way, then most of the women just make him the butt of jokes and, they shrug off what he says, and just tell him he's too sensitive. Either that, or they say he's an INSENSITIVE jerk who just needs to lighten up.

Either way, the underlying message seems to be that women are tough enough to handle anything all the time, and men are weak, stumbling idiots', who only mess everything up. I know, I've written about this before, but it seems to be an issue close to my heart. The image portrayed around me is that if a man is wrong...he's wrong; and that's to be expected. If a man is RIGHT...he's still wrong...and that's to be expected. (!!!). Do I feel this way? No, not at all. I feel brokenhearted because it seems we are teaching women to be men...and men to be women.