Convenience?

I read and hear a lot of talk about the apostle Paul learning to be content in every circumstance. I just read another article about it online. As usual, something pricked the inside of me as I read. It was all about how (we) always have to have the latest thing that's out...whatever that is. We don't really NEED it...but we want it. (Be it make-up or clothes)... whatever. Great message. However I wonder what the apostle Paul himself might say today, if he heard that we (might be) having a bad day because...our Internet went out or, we need to have the AC in our car fixed.

Don't worry...I do not want to write this in order to compare our seemingly mundane struggles with that of a man who was beaten, whipped, thrown in prison and then left for dead, in order to prove a point, that (we, today) have no (good) reason to be discontent or unhappy. A person might be pretty well off, and enjoy many conveniences...but this does not mean that we should compare this person with the apostle Paul, as though there should never be any struggles in their life.

Sometimes things really hurt, and at the same time, they also need to be endured for a long time. The fact is, when these two realities are "meshed" together in our lives, we can feel abandoned, and betrayed, and needing to cry out to the Lord pleading with him about what he's doing in our lives. This is (most likely) not the same as being whipped, beaten and left for dead...true. But, I feel that to say that (we) always have to have the latest things, and we never seem to be satisfied...while often true...does not really even address what the APOSTLE PAUL actually MEANT, while the same comparison also seems to take people going through deep, legitimate hurts, and throw them under the bus as well. Each one of us has been "assigned" our own cup and portion in life...and this includes deep hurts, grieving, and crying out to G-d.

The fact is, waiting on the Lord often is very painful. This is because we reach a point where we are forced to FEEL that we truly can't do it anymore. It is then, that G-d "stretches" who we are...because we must take hold of his hand, and walk through it anyway. In other words, when we might feel something should be lifted (as it were) from our lives because it IS too much...G-d will seem to say that he is just getting started. This is painful. This is hard. There's only one person in the world destined to go through what the apostle Paul went through...and that was the apostle Paul himself. He was assigned HIS portion and HIS cup...and G-d did grant him the courage and grace he needed to get through it all. But I want to encourage you, my friend...never feel badly because you aren't the apostle Paul. Never give in to the "subliminal" message that says, you ought to beat yourself up, because you don't REQUIRE the amount of grace that the APOSTLE PAUL did...and yet, here you are complaining. Never think that you have no right to feel your feelings because the apostle PAUL mastered the art of being content...yet you can't. This is an unfair, unnecessary comparison. You are only yourself. This is your portion and your cup. You are the only person you need worry about being, and yes...sometimes it is...too much. You don't need to worry about feeling anything but what you feel.

Losing someone we love is difficult. Change is difficult. Having patience when we feel we are at the end of our rope is difficult. Illnesses and injuries are difficult. Grief is difficult. Waiting longer than we ever expected we would wait...is difficult. Sometimes we know we are down, and we wonder when we might ever be able to get back up. In my opinion, the problem often comes when we treat these profound struggles...as though they are nothing more than...the latest thing we think we have to have, but we have to do without it. This is an unfair comparison when there is an ache too deep to explain on the inside. None of us are the apostle Paul. But this is for those of us whose discontentedness stems from much more than just wanting to have the latest thing. Could it be, that no matter how deep our discontent is, we are encouraged at every turn to try and "medicate" it with the latest thing out there? Maybe this is why it seems we always think we have to have the latest...whatever. So, is this really why we are so discontent? Somehow, I'd doubt that.

By the way...how do we know that the apostle Paul DIDN'T have nights where he cried himself to sleep? How do we know he wasn't in despair beyond belief after being lashed and beaten? I would imagine it wasn't a picnic being chained up in prison for proclaiming Christ is Lord. Paul had a hard life, and he knew it. I'd say just because the scriptures themselves don't get further into that hardshp, does not mean that he did not feel anything, or that he did not go through enormous grief that was hard to comprehend. We tend to treat our deepest struggles like we are exchanging an outfit at the store, or heating something up in a microwave, I think. The human heart was never meant to function in such a way. Learning to be content in every circumstance, does not mean that there is no hardship and that nothing hurts. And the apostle Paul was just as human as we all are. Hang in there, little lamb...you're going to be okay! :))