Boredom

It's possible to want to be married because you're bored. I think now, that this is why I made an idol out of marriage without realizing it. Marriage has always seemed like the one thing I actually believed I was brave enough to do, that symbolizes every grown up thing I haven't done yet. I would be connected, joined... one. Of course, there are many ways to "cure" boredom aside from committing your life to someone... thinking that this will fill in the gaps. I've been told so many times that if I'm not happy with my life now, I won't be when I'm married. The truth is, there are issues in my life that I need to face up to that have been easier to ignore. I think I need a regular job now (as much as I love writing). Sure, I'm taking a college class, but who else am I helping or serving? How am I contributing to society in useful ways? I don't think that blogging. watering plants and taking out trash is enough anymore :)