Sunday, September 6, 2009

Ladies, what time is it?

I confided in a friend the other day, some of my feelings towards guys, and just some general life happenings; and some of what I said had tremendous angst in it. My friend mentioned to me that more than one thing was happening to me simultaneously, and asked me to consider whether hormones had anything to do with it. Sometimes our body wants someone more than our mind does (??) I soon found that my friend was right. I have infact, noticed that during those times when hormones turn up the volume on my emotions, I desire "Mr. Right" more intensely. I pray for him more intensely. I wonder where he is more intensely, and I worry that I won't find him... more intensely. (Jer. 29:11, remember)? Sometimes, these torrrents of anger come spilling out of me, and I have to go in my room and silently "scream" to the Lord, because he's the only one who can handle what's going on in me. Married women help me out here... do you go through this too?

But I also tend to plead with the Lord more intensely about why I should be married to this man that I am most certainly lusting after.... (let it come quickly, I say). A woman's heart can be the biggest battlefield on earth! How do we contend with all of this, when our desires can turn us inside out on a normal day? During those times when the intensity of feeling is spiked up, and a hanger put out of place can make the world stop spinning, how do we handle it, when the desire to be in our husband's arms is drowning us... but we need to come up for air?

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